A funny and practical guide to help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.
Have you ever looked around and wondered, “Why has everyone found love except me?”
You’re not the only one.
Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives—they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including when to get out there, whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, when to commit to the right one, and everything in between. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love.
Drawing from years studying psychology and relationships, behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes. But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results. Knowing you shouldn’t date “bad boys” or “manic pixie dream girls,” for example, doesn’t make them any less appealing—you have to actually change your behavior. Ury shows you how.
This book focuses on a different decision in each chapter incorporating insights from behavioral science, original research, and stories about people just like you. You’ll learn: -What’s holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern) -What really matters in a long-term partner (and what really doesn’t) -How to overcome the perils of online dating (and make the apps work for you) -How to meet more people in real life (while doing activities you love) -How to make dates fun again (so they stop feeling like job interviews) -Why you should go on that second date (trust me on this one) -How to know whether to stay or go (and how to end things with compassion) -Why “the spark” is a myth (but you’ll find love anyway)
And so much more.
This data-driven, step-by-step guide to relationships, along with hands-on exercises, is designed to transform your life. How to Not Die Alone will help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.
About the Author
Behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury is an internationally recognized expert on modern love. As the Director of Relationship Science at the dating app Hinge, Logan leads a research team dedicated to helping people find love. After studying psychology at Harvard, she ran Google’s behavioral science team—The Irrational Lab—and created the popular interview series “Talks at Google: Modern Romance.” She is also a TED Resident. Logan lives in San Francisco with her husband Scott and a gaggle of succulents. She credits her relationship success to the techniques outlined in How Not to Die Alone. Learn more about her at loganury.com or follow her @Logan_Ury.
"Why have you not found love? Logan Ury's How To Not Die Alonespeaks to truths that your friends won’t tell you. With a unique voice that offers clarity, action, and results, Ury's book promises to be a definitive guide for a generation navigating the murky waters of modern love."—ESTHER PEREL, bestselling author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairsand host of the podcast "Where Should We Begin
"This is an eye-opening book. Based on the best that social science has to offer, and written in an easy-to-understand style, full of useful exercises and checklists, Logan Ury has provided a guide that will help you avoid many of the traps people face in finding and keeping romantic relationships in today's world. And as a bonus, reading this book will surely help you make other big decisions in life that have nothing to do with romance."—BARRY SCHWARTZ, Visiting Professor at the Haas School of Business, U.C. Berkeley, and author of The Paradox of Choice
"This book wisely reminds us that finding and holding on to love is not a mysterious divinely apportioned gift, it's a skill that can be taught and learnt by us all. Past failure does not have to be any indicator of future success - with this compelling book in hand."—ALAIN DE BOTTON, author of The Course of Love
"How to Not Die Alone is a must-read for millennials navigating any stage of their relationship. The advice is clear, researched-based, and actually easy to follow. It's the perfect book for anyone who wants to up their dating game."—JORDANA ABRAHAM, Co-founder of Betches Media, Host of the U Up? Podcast
"Logan Ury's practical, no-nonsense approach to dating is a masterclass in behavioral science. It's also warm, funny, and full of heart. How Not to Die Alone is an essential guide to debunking the myths of modern romance and finding a relationship that's truly worth investing in." —MANDY LEN CATRON, author of How to Fall in Love with Anyone: A Memoir in Essays
"Ury has given all of us a host of excellent suggestions (and scientific information) on how to find, make, build and sustain a romantic, sexy and successful partnership." —HELEN FISHER, author of Anatomy of Love and Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute