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For parents who have lost a child, it makes no sense for life to end at such a young age-particularly when the death is sudden and without warning. The loss cuts so deep, it can be suffocating. On September 11, 2002, an All-American athlete, teacher, and coach had taken her own life. The mystery of why and how this could happen compels her mother to retrace and investigate her daughter's life through the extensive writings she left behind. This memoir of a parent's worst nightmare is deeply moving, written with raw honesty and the relentless pursuit of a mother seeking answers. At times heart-wrenching and warm, humorous and reflective, this poignant memoir engages the reader in a mother's search to find her daughter's voice, and then her own. Readers will recognize their own grief and losses along the way while gaining an understanding of those struggling with anxiety and the terrifying suicide option no one should choose.